**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
