1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
