you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
