"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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