I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
