absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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