either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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