you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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