I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
