everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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