no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
