I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
be right there i have to get my cape
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
