just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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