Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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