Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
