sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
