i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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