Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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