i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
