i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
