I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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