All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
