You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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