Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
