everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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