oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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