There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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