help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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