Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
