saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
