More tranny stories later!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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