I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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