you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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