Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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