I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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