update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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