tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
