Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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