Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
