You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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