i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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