I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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