Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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