he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
