What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
