it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
