great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
