Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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