ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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