New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
